She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
