If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
