is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize