These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
