She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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