I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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