ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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