You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
