ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize