im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
