So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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