It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
