when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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