just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
