She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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