So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
