Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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