I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
