I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
