i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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