Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
