just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
