She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize