Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
