the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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