OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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