saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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