So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
