I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
