Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
