bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
