Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
