If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
