And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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