umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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