I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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