i think my tv is drunk
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
