Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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