so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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