Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
