Having a random hookup so left but love u
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
