I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize