Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
