Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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