she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
