if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
BRING THE BAGELS
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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