i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
