brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
