is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
