I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
