If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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