yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
