He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
