I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
