Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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