fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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