Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
