i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Randomize
