PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
