dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
This is the high leading the old right now
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
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