I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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