So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
