the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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