also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
