Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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