No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize