She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
did i walk over a car last night?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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