Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
