Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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