i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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