I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
