and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
How's work?
Spinning.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
