I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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