no. you can't hotbox the world.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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