so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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